Movie Making

Making a movie is serious business. There are so many little things that go into it that people are not aware of. You have to come up with an idea, write a script, bitch with your coproducer for weeks about the script. Change the script some twelve times. Revise the script seven more times after that. Bitch some more. Find the actors. After your first cast bails on you, find new actors. Get Drunk. Rewrite the script; the idea was dumb anyways. Come up with equipment for the shoot. Reshoot after realizing your lack 0f knowledge and preparation of the equipment put a big stupid watermark over all your footage and an annoyingly high pitched beep over the audio track. Get drunk. Clean up the mess from last night's drunken swaree (a mustard throwing fight may sound like a good idea, but seldom is.) Fuck it, we're not really doing anything, let's go get drunk again... At the Mexican club. Who the fuck is this Anel girl in my bed? Who the hell calls their kid Anal? Get back to work! You've got a deadline. Skip class. Go to work. Do the dishes. Fuck it, we'll just buy disposable. Watch a movie. Get inspired. Get back to work! Call the actors. Get them ready (Thrift Mart!) Your coproducer's A.D.D. is seriously colliding with the production of this film and generally pissing your A.D.D. off. Get drunk. Look for music for your movie. Should we worry about plagiarism? Where's my left shoe? Begin the editing process. Bitch with your coproducer about the editing process. Get drunk. I Can't Believe It's Not Butter! Whatch an incredibly bad Mexploitation, straight-to-video-released movie. Write a blog. Finalize the movie. Give it a title. Fantasize about all the cool things you're gonna get when you're rich, and what hot actresses you're gonna sleep with. Realize you're not willing to share Tina Fey. Bitch with your coproducer about it. Make a list. Come up with a complex set of rules for the picks on the list. You did it! You finished your film and nobody important got hurt... you know it... Get drunk!